Protected: Best of Blog: Trust
This post is from 8/7/12, the day before my right-side mastectomy. So I am reposting it now on the day before I have my reconstructive surgery and will get a new breast. I’ve had a plastic or foam breast for seven months.
Tomorrow is the day that I say goodbye to rightie, the ta to my other ta, the oonga to my baz, and the crenshaw to my honeydew. And you don’t have to tell me that it’s sad because I already know. I do need to move forward and the sooner I have this surgery, the sooner I can get over the next round of painful and yucky stuff. My outward appearance with go from Elizabeth 1.0 to Elizabeth 2.0 to Elizabeth 3.0 by the time the holiday season comes upon us. (Just pretend that I was never a baby and I started out life as a 46 year old woman. Be creative.)
Elizabeth 1.0 did have a proper send off today. As I walked into Trader Joe’s, I received not one, but two compliments from the Trader Joe’s employee who was working out front. First he said, “Have a good time shopping” followed by, “I like your dress.” He may have even been younger than me. As an extra bonus, he was not one of the drunk guys at the bus shelter in the Junction, ergo the flirting was not the least bit creepy or boundary violating. The bus guys seem to be my main fan club. (And drunk guys, I haven’t heard a lot from you lately. Middle aged ladies need a little encouragement.) So hey, Elizabeth 1.0, you still got it and with a sober guy, too!
I am not going to be bringing my computer to the hospital tomorrow so I may not post anything until I get home on Thursday. John may have his computer and if I am mentally with-it enough I may be able to get him to post on my behalf. Otherwise, please be patient. I’m not sure what I am going to be up for communication-wise for a couple of days. I am confident that surgery will go well and even though it is likely to hurt for awhile and to be very upsetting, I will be okay. During my meeting with Dr. Beatty last Thursday I said, “I’m going to thank you now because next time I see you I may have lost perspective.” His reply was, “No, you won’t.” He’s probably right.
Goodbye, Girl; hello, long and healthy life.
The Trader Joe’s guy has an affinity for prints, apparently. I do think I looked better in this dress for the obvious reason. My whole head showed rather than being semi-headless like this model. To have an entire head is more aesthetically pleasing. I learned that in my art history classes. I do like her earrings, though. Buy your own dress at http://www.sierratradingpost.com/chetta-b-jersey-print-dress-v-neck-short-sleeve-for-women~p~4059u/?filterString=womens-dresses~d~257%2F&colorFamily=02
Protected: Waiting for Breastman*
According to the Urban Dictionary, 23 is the “greatest number of all time.” I don’t know about that but for me today, it is a really great number.
Twenty-three years ago today, two unique events occurred. It snowed in Seattle in mid-March and John and I were married.
Tomorrow I have my “big surgery”. Today, I am following a liquid diet and completing a “bowel prep” to help with my recovery after the surgery. Believe me, you don’t want to know. Let’s just say that the most romantic thing that could happen today is for my husband to hand me a single stemmed rose along with a handful of laxatives and a glass of water. Then we can sit on the couch, hold hands, and wait for the fireworks to begin.
Happy anniversary, John! I love you dearly. Thank you for taking such good care of me. Twenty-three is a pretty great number but the greatest numbers are yet to be.
Photo taken 3/10/90. I can’t remember the photographer’s name. Sorry!
10/20/12 Lincoln Park, Seattle. My hubby is still such a sweetie.
I’ve been remiss in communicating gracious appreciation for two events:
1) Nomination for the “Beautiful Blogger” Award from Chymeera. Thank you so much! I enjoy your blog and agree that your eyes really do “pop” in that recent photo you posted. Additionally, you are a lovely woman. If this is what you look like when you are going through cancer treatment, when you are feeling better, it’s going to be, “Dang, girl you look fabulous!”
2) Recognition by the Empowered Doctor health news site as a “Top Cancer Blog“. How cool is that? I know that some of my blog buddies out there have also been recognized the same way. Good for you! I thought it was a “pay us some money and we will advertise your blog” type thing but was pleased to learn that it is not. Forgive my initial cynicism but I get those kinds of calls in my business as a psychologist and they end up being telemarketing calls.
Finally, in the spirit of the “Beautiful Blogger Award”, which is given from one blogger to another, I would like to highlight a blog. There are many wonderful breast cancer blogs but I have up until now, yet to encounter a blog devoted to lymphedema.
Introducing Helen, who “lives in the land down under”. Helen just started the blog, My Lymph Node Transplant. She is a many year uterine cancer survivor. Part of her treatment included removing 22 lymph nodes, which resulted in continuing struggles with lymphedema. I was lucky (knock on wood) to only lose one lymph node as part of a sentinel node biopsy. I knew it could be bothersome and leave one more vulnerable to infection, but I had no idea how serious the condition could get until reading Helen’s blog. She not only describes her own life experience as she awaits her lymph node transplant (a new surgery) in a few days, but has also set up her blog as a treasure trove of clearly written educational information. Check out her blog!
I saw Dr. Welk yesterday for a marking appointment. He took a blue Sharpie marker and drew a surgical incision map on my torso. (Tip: Remove any skin creams or oils before the marking appointment, especially if you’ve had a full body massage a few hours before your appointment. Otherwise, Dr. W your plastic surgeon will get annoyed with you and you will have to go to the restroom and clean up your skin.) I must be special because I got way more markings than are shown on the illustration, below. He also explained the procedure to me.
Here’s the first picture of a pedicled TRAM procedure I’ve found online that actually makes sense to me. My surgery is a little different. First, the picture below is of immediate reconstruction. That means that an onco surgeon does the mastectomy followed by a plastic surgeon doing the TRAM surgery all during the same surgery. I am having delayed surgery. I had a mastectomy last August. Dr. Welk is also not using any skin from the TRAM flap in the reconstruction. He’s only using the fat from my abdomen and discarding the skin. I am keeping all of my breast skin. That was the whole point of his putting a tissue expander (temporary implant, which is gradually filled with saline over a number of months) under my skin. He was able to expand my skin to make up for what was lost during the previous breast surgeries. This was possible because I did not have radiation treatment and I had a full skin sparing mastectomy.
Well, not exactly. My surgery on Monday will be at Swedish Hospital, founded by some Swedish-American physicians in 1908. Swedish Medical Center is pretty much a Seattle institution both literally and figuratively.
I asked John to stay with me in the hospital. He, being the wonderful hubby that he is, naturally said, “yes.” Then he added, “I’m looking forward to it. It will be like camping!”
Yes, like going on a camping trip and being mauled by a bear who rearranged my parts and hopefully supplies me with really awesome pain meds!
Protected: Best of Blog: Undersung Hero
Protected: I want a vacation from myself
This blog was posted on 8/1/12. This stressful period of my life was good comedy material, prompting my brother to quip, “Cancer has made you clever.”
You remember who was in the chorus of the Gene Wilder musical classic? Yes, the Oompa Loompas. And what color were the Oompa Loompas? Yes, they were orange. And what color were my roots after using an unfortunate shade of Clairol Natural Instincts? Yes, they were a very deep shade of overripe cantalope. “Natural” Instincts, my ass!
I’ve never messed up a hair color before but I haven’t done it myself for several years and apparently, Clairol Natural Instincts uses a totally different formula than they did when I last used their products. And they are on a melon kick! Not to be seen in public (other than going to Target to get a fix for this), I used a non-permanent, normal looking reddish brown dye today. Ah, much better. Most of the melon is gone.
The Oompa Loompas would say that my parents are to blame for this mishap (“…the mother and the fa-ather”). However, the same thing happened to my mom and she warned me about it. When did I remember this? After I rinsed the color out of my hair! So, I’ve decided to blame Roald Dahl.
It will be so nice to be able to go back to the salon. It will happen.
P.S. The color was just like this except MORE orange. No lie.
The Oompa Loompas after disobeying their lax parents in the Clairol Factory and falling into a vat of Natural Instincts “Dark Auburn.”
My Eyes Are Up Here 