Dear friend,
a sincere apology
I know that my words
are often rather repetitive
please believe me
it is not intentional
but to be honest with you
I only ever really say one thing
and it’s getting more difficult
to find new ways to say
that we should take care
of each other.

Zachary Loeb
LibrarianShipwreck
8/04/2023

This is one of the many “plague poems” documenting the Covid-19 pandemic. Mr. Loeb writes about 4 poems a day and has done so since March 2020. He is a Ph.D. student at Penn State who studies technology, disasters, and more.

I also feel that my words are rather repetitive during the pandemic, which is one of the reasons I don’t write much anymore. Actually, I have no problem repeating myself but it is discouraging that “we’re all in this together” has turned to a message of individual responsibility.

I feel gaslighted by leadership, even the administration I help vote into office and fervently hope will be re-elected. The CDC (Centers for Disease Control, a federal agency) posted a photo on social media earlier this week showing a line up of cars, carrying staff members, to the offices with a caption commenting on how many CDC employees had returned to in-person work. The CDC houses administrative staff and researchers. In other words, they are perfectly set up for distance work. Meanwhile Covid-19 rates are climbing again. Why not wait until we better understand how to prevent and treat Covid, especially long Covid? Why not talk about how the CDC is reducing risk for employees with increased ventilation, filtration, and masking?

It’s not just the U.S. I see this pattern all over. Yes, the acute death rate from Covid-19 is down. It’s no longer in the top 3 causes of death in the U.S., for example, but it is still in the top 10 and may remain there. It is also a common cause of long-term disability. I’d give you the stats but you have probably already read them so I will tell you a true story about a real person.

My brother, Joe, is 66-years-old and just retired as a high school special education math teacher. In early 2020, he was working at a middle school, down the street from the Life Care Center, a nursing home in Kirkland, WA. You may remember that this was the place originally designated the North American epicenter for the Covid-19 pandemic. The teacher’s aide in the classroom is married to a first responder. She got Covid from her husband and gave it to my brother in January/February 2020. It was mild and he just thought he had a cold. Fortunately, his wife was away at the time and was not exposed to him. My brother’s physician told him to assume that he’d had Covid (there were no tests then, remember?) and he got vaccinated as soon as possible. Joe followed recommendations carefully. In August 2022, he attended a family wedding in Montana. He contracted Covid again, this time long Covid.

Joe told me, “I don’t remember between August and November”. He took a leave-of-absence from work because it was too difficult to teach mathematics and write I.E.P.’s (individualized educational plans) for his students. Fortunately, he was able to get a good neuropsychological assessment, which established his need for workplace accommodations, including a workload reduction. He made it through the year but said it was really hard. Thank goodness that he had already planned to retire and did not have to do so earlier in his career.

Nonetheless, it is feeling like an increasing struggle to get my extended family to take precautions even given that our brother has had long Covid, our mother is nearly 89 years-old, and their sister has a rare heart disease. There are others in the family with significant risk factors but they don’t see themselves at being at higher risk. There are also a lot of teachers in my family and a couple of them teach little kids, who at this point have been found to be more likely to carry and transmit the disease. During the summer, it is no big deal because we can visit outside. But in the colder months, it is getting increasingly difficult. I nearly opted out of Christmas last year and I am strongly considering skipping it later this year. Everyone can just leave me alone to live my semi-hermit life in peace. Bah, humbug!

My mother-in-law, Nancy, is currently going through cancer treatment for non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I won’t go into detail but it was serious enough that we cancelled our planned three week camping trip in Alaska. About 1/3 of the people in the cancer center wear a mask, including front office staff. In fact, one women at the front desk makes it a point to tell people wearing masks that they don’t have to. THIS IS IN A CANCER CENTER! WHAT THE HELL? People were so careful about it before, now even healthcare settings with highly health compromised patients are leaving it up to individual responsibility.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not depressed and I am still having fun in my life, going on local hikes and making pottery. I am lucky in my job to have a lot of control over my office environment. But I am discouraged about our species. On the one hand, it seems like little sacrifice to wear a mask or put a HEPA filter in place to make public spaces more accessible to people at risk. Don’t people with liberal politics believe in inclusion and accessibility? On the other hand, these are most challenging times. I get it. There is a lack of clear guidance. I do spend a significant amount of time keeping up with research advances from a few sources that I trust. But until we have better prevention and treatment options, I will continue to use the tools at my disposal to reduce my risk of contracting or spreading a serious disease. That means I get to do a lot but I also miss out on things.

With every new wave
the message is the same:
“we have the tools”
do not worry do not panic
for we have the tools
and since you
are part of the we
you ostensibly have them as well,
though it has been a long time
since an appeal to you
as part of a we
was itself one of the tools.

Zachary Loeb
LibrarianShipwreck
8/04/2023