Okay, the potential mastectomy and subsequent reconstruction idea is kind of freaking me out. I had a little trouble sleeping last night and woke up early today thinking about it. So I’ve decided to try to get back to my original coping plan, which is to focus on one step at a time. Next week is another lumpectomy. I’ve been asked, “Why the rush?” Well, the short answer is that the longer I wait, the harder it will be for Dr. Beatty to find the contours of the original lumpectomy. This will make it much easier for him to remove the correct tissue. Remember, the junk cells they are after now have not been spotted by mammography, MRI, or ultrasound. So these contours will serve as a very important guide to him.

After the surgery, there will be another pathology report. I will also receive the results of oncotype testing soon afterwards. At that point, if Dr. Beatty is still concerned and recommends a mastectomy, I’m going to take some time to think it through and consult with my other physicians about how the other treatments may or may not address any of these concerns. As far as reconstruction goes, I know that it is optional and I know it’s not a walk in the park to get it done. I won’t know for sure how I would feel about it unless faced with the decision but I would probably opt to do it. I support any decision a woman makes on this but I’m dealing with enough in my life right now. I’m disinclined to take on my body image at this time. But we’ll see.

Oh no, I started thinking about the mastectomy again even though I said that I was going to concentrate just on the next step and not borrow trouble. I have a full work schedule today so that will help distract me. Also, I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow. Aaah.