I finally got around to making the very healthy chia pudding recipe I posted from my dear friend, Mike, who practices Chinese medicine in New York City. Helen of My Lymph Node Transplant had made it a few days earlier and kindly noted that it was a bit on the bland side, so she had added extra dates to it. At that point Helen declared it, “very nice”. So I doubled the dates. I also ended up roasting my raw cashews after my husband reminded me that he is allergic to raw nuts. I also substituted olive oil for coconut oil. I couldn’t find the latter and I suspect my daughter has absconded with it to use as wax for some project she is doing in her room, perhaps making a surf board out of a tree branch or something. (I exaggerate her mad scientist shenanigans only slightly. Only this morning, I found a seafood fork in the shower.)
After I blended the pudding in the my food processor, I gave it a sniff. It had a pleasant, nutty aroma. The appearance is a nutty tan color. I did not think it looked bad. However, my husband, who will eat ANYTHING, wouldn’t even try a bite. I ate a little spoonful and it tasted good and the texture was similar to tapioca pudding, just as Mike had described in his introduction to the recipe. Wait, a minute. I just remembered something. I don’t like tapioca pudding because of the texture. Actually, I find the texture to be somewhat disgusting. Did I think the fact that this pudding has healthy ingredients was going to change this for me? Aaaah! I have become my grandmother. Unlike the stereotypical expectations of a first generation Italian immigrant, my nonna was a pretty lousy cook. I remember how incredulous she was when her soups didn’t turn out tasty. She would say, “But I put a whole stick of good butter in it and a wedge of good cheese.” She thought the quality of the ingredient trumped all. And grandma, why did you put all of that butter in the soup. Yuck! (My mother has read this post and believes I may have confused her mother with Paula Deen, the famous butter loving chef.)
So, I took all of this time and energy, not to mention the expense of the very healthy ingredients and ended up with Soylent Green! You don’t know what soylent green is? It’s the “plankton based” food that people had to eat in the dystopian future sci-fi movie of 1973 starring Charlton Heston. You see the world had ruined the environment and was running out of food. Charlton played a rugged and “sexy” cop whose wardrobe looked like a mash-up of Oliver Twist and Mork of Mork and Mindy. The masses in this society had to eat processed “plankton” crackers. But as Charlton learns by the end of the movie, there’s no plankton. “Soylent Green, it’s people, it’s people!”
Okay, so my initial batch of chia pudding reminded me of a film about cannibal crackers. That is not a good start. But I had put this much time into it and put lots of good ingredients in. So, like Katie Torlai before me, I started combining it with stuff. I added a couple of tablespoons of pudding to 2 tablespoons plain Greek yogurt, 2 tablespoons flax seed meal, and 3/4 of a peeled apple, sliced into small chunks. This concoction was to be my breakfast, which I have adopted as my “medicinal meal”, that is the way I get 2 tablespoons of flax seed meal into my diet each day. Consequently, my expectations for breakfast are low.
As I mixed up my small vat of chunky, seedy, goo, the appearance points for the dish dropped from 1/4 of a star to zero stars. It looked really unappealing. I took a taste, fully expecting to exclaim, “Soylent Green, it’s chia, it’s chunky, yogurty, seedy chia!”
To my surprise, the added ingredients actually improved the dish’s texture score from 0 stars to 1 star. It no longer reminded me of the goo from badly cooked okra. The flavor rating was bumped up to 1 1/2 stars.
Ding, ding, ding! Marginally palatable breakfast is served!
I just offered Charlton a spoonful of pudding. Coward!!!!
Photo from Wikipedia
P.S. I almost forgot that it is Health Activist Writers’ Challenge month. Today, my health activist sign reads as follows:
You are what you eat, especially if you live in a dystopian future complete with Soylent Green as the only food option.
My Eyes Are Up Here 
Ick! (The movie ending, not your pudding.) Actually, I love tapioca pudding, and I find all those slimy little tings going down my throat to be delightful. Rebecca and I sometimes buy basil soda pop in the Asian stores because it has slimy little fish-eye like seeds in it. Yum! I will have to try this scrumptious sounding recipe!
I think you will like the pudding, then. I used almond milk for the “milk”, which made it particularly nutty tasting.
LOL.. Do I dare say that I actually like it… Could be that I use 20 dates instead of 5 and this time I added gogi berries to the blend!! Yes it is my breakfast and I feel very self righteous after I have eaten it.. Plus the ingredients cost $40 so going to eat it!!!! My husband tried one mouthful and said it was ok but has had non since and by friend who was staying ate it for breakfast too but I think she was being polite!! Those little seeds remind me of tadpole eggs after they soak in the almond milk!!! LOL but it is healthy!!!
Wow, Helen that is a lot of dates! Maybe your dates are smaller than the ones I used because my pudding was actually a little sweet for my liking. I actually do like it now that I’ve mixed it with some other things. It’s kind of like oatmeal but cold. Oatmeal is also not a beautiful looking dish unless there are berries piled on top of it.
John’s allergic to raw nuts but not nuts in general? Did I understand that right? After all the posts on Facebook lately about one healthy eating myth or another, your title made me laugh because I’d recently decided that Soylent Green will be the one food option we have left. ;- )
Oh dear, no cannibalism Beth! You know “Think Geek” sells fake Soylent Green crackers. I’m thinking of buying some for John as a Fathers’ Day gift. And speaking of John, yes he is allergic to raw or boiled nuts but not to roasted nuts. He is also allergic to many fruits like apples, cherries, and peaches but not when they are cooked.
Wow, I never knew allergies could manifest that way. That’s so interesting! Sorry, I don’t mean to make his allergies my intellectual entertainment. Is there a common enzyme in the nuts and fruits that is burned off or altered in the cooking process?
I think John would love the Soylent Green crackers.
I’ve pondered this question, as well. I wish I knew more about food science.
Mahalo/thank you for the chuckles as well as recipe!
Aloha and you are very welcome!
I wonder if agave nectar would help? Or get it to look like chocolate pudding with cocoa powder? I’ll have to experiment.
About the seafood fork in the shower..I hope she wasn’t trying acupuncture!
Agave might help but I would need to reduce the number of dates. I could try cocoa powder though I worry it may look like a very unattractive brown substance.