In addition to the color pink as a emblem of breast cancer, another polarizing expression is the characterization of cancer as a “gift”. I don’t think of it as a gift but I do think that it in coping with it, I have learned some important life lessons. It has been an ultimate learning experience, a growth experience, if you will.
The recent posts on the topic reminded me of something. My clinical psychology Ph.D. program was quite demanding and the first year was steep learning curve for students. When I was an advanced grad student, I watched a new crop of students struggling toward the end of the first semester. One day they got an additional unexpected task. Some of the students were trying to reframe it in a positive light. Louis, who was really funny and had a way to getting to the heart of the matter said, “Oh great! Another fucking growth experience!”
I don’t think he’d see cancer as a “gift”, either.
My Eyes Are Up Here 
No I can never see it as a gift… I did not need a growth experience!!
Nope, definitely not a gift!
[…] Another way to look at the “gift” of cancer. […]
dear Elizabeth,
I promise, I promise- mofo cancer is NOT a gift, and I hope to heaven people who are hanging on to that kind of thinking will be inspired to re-frame it. if anyone is having trouble doing so, they can contact me – 3 different, lethal cancers in 4 years in our house -let me count the ways… cancer is SO NOT a gift – never has been, never will be. people, think before you bandy about that noxious thought. think of the suffering of mothers, fathers, little children, husbands, wives, – the worry, the pain, the deaths. if anyone has come through the gauntlet of such misery with theirs lives intact – feel free to be grateful for whatever ways you were able to cope and move on – but know that even the living means walking wounded, and we will never be the same. and I would venture to say that those who are grieving for the many losses cancer imposes would find that just hearing the words, ” cancer is a gift ” would feel they are insensitive, and hurtful, and that maybe, the person who uttered them is on a slow boat on de-nile. just sayin’…
to you, Elizabeth, I really appreciate that you wrote about “re-framing” – it’s a wonderful skill to cultivate, and perhaps will be the catalyst to rid our lexicon of the notion of cancer being a gift. sorry I was on a soapbox – but this issue tends to send me into orbit – ooops I need to re-frame my own self!
much love and light, my friend
Karen xoxo
You soap box all you want, dear Karen! Cancer is not a gift.
I think you know how I feel about this one… Sure I’ve learned stuff, but I will never be calling cancer a gift. No matter how society tries to package it, cancer is not a gift IMO.
I agree. It’s like saying, ‘Boy, that horrible divorce was a gift because I learned so much.’
As others have said, definitely not a gift. Unless we put land mines, tsunamis, demonic possession and ebola in the gift category too. Something tells me we won’t be doing that any time soon…
No, I agree! I hope you are having a happy Christmas, Tracy.
I laughed out loud when I read the ending to this Elizabeth, It sums up my attitude perfectly too. It is only much, much later that I try to see the opportunity for growth in each life crisis I have had to face. Sometimes that is really hard. I still haven’t figured out the gift in my pregnancy losses, and woe betide anyone who says to me how lucky I am to be free to travel, don’t have the worry of children to contend with, etc. etc.
Marie, I’m so sorry for your pregnancy losses. I certainly hope no one has ever said anything like that to you but I have a relative who once tried to comfort a young widow at her husband’s funeral by saying, “You’re young. You’ll find someone else.” People can say anything.