I had an entirely different idea for a post today. Then as I was closing Facebook in order to write it, I saw another one of those inspirational quotes that has come to make my skin crawl. There were examples of how potentially negative attributes have positive implications, as well. The ending of the quote was, “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
Why do so many feel it necessary to say this? I believe it is very unhealthy.
Everyone and I mean everyone has faults. Lots of personality qualities have both positive and negative implications. The positive implications don’t erase the negative or vice versa.
Why do we need to convince ourselves that we are somehow perfect?
We aren’t. It’s a lie. It’s an utter and outright lie.
The problem is not being imperfect. The problem is not accepting that we are still good and worthwhile despite imperfections.
There are lots of things wrong with me. There are mostly things right with me.
There are ugly things about me. There are mostly beautiful things about me, and I’m not talking about pretty.
There are dishonest things about me. I am mostly honest.
There are selfish things about me. I am mostly fair and generous.
If I have to tell myself that I am perfect to feel better about myself, how will I ever look at myself honestly, trust myself, value myself, and grow as a person?
Finally, let me put it this way. I am a clinical psychologist. My job is to help children and teens be happier and healthier. I know of no effective treatment that involves my telling my patients lies or teaching them to lie to themselves.
Honesty is the best policy and a keystone of self-acceptance.
My Eyes Are Up Here 
I think the bottom line is that we need to accept ourselves, imperfections and all and in that way, we can understand we are perfect, just the way we are, with flaws and goodness and parts to improve. Does that make sense?
I understand what you are saying…but I also understand the ‘perfect’ line that we see on FB posts etc. It’s not perfect as in there’s no way to improve, I think it’s more of a self-acceptance in the way that I love myself with all of my flaws and goodness. Does that make sense? ♥
I agree about the bottom line. In respect to the rest, I have heard this perspective before and I would be the last to dismiss happiness of another, based on it. I don’t think that is how most people define perfection, however, at least in our culture. And based on the common definition of perfection, I believe it is a harmful perspective for most, but not all. Thanks so much for following and commenting. I am very happy that you are happy. I am, however, worried about myself and others, who work from a different set of assumptions. To me, perfect, means without any kind of flaw.
I’m glad you wrote this post! ♥
Let he (or she) who is without sin cast the first stone. That would be, uh, none of us. Good reminder.
Thanks, Greg. And let us not throw the stone into our own face!
E,
Excellent post, my friend!!!!!!!!!
M
Thanks, Maria!
I am repeating myself. “Perfection is so boring”
I knew you would say that!
I knew you knew, so I had to say it!
Ha!
dear Elizabeth,
finding balance in life is hard sometimes. we humans have a difficult time finding the middle-ground of perceptions and attitudes. you did a great job articulating that issue with sharing about yourself. and I agree with your Mom!
much love,
Karen xoxo
Thank you for this post. Faults, I have many; but working toward accepting them for what they are and eliminating those I can.
Elizabeth, I love this thread, along with the more recent post.
I call this the band of excellence phenomena, everyone striving to be in the band above others, no one wanting to be in the mediocrity crowd. In yet, the vast majority of the people in the world are at best mediocre, we all can’t be in the excellent band otherwise it becomes the commonplace since everyone would then be there. Society judges one another against these standards nagging one another. Corporate America is awful with this, what, it’s not just when you are little. Conformity, or be shunned. Be talked about, not talked to.
Keep writing. I don’t always get to read what you post but, when I do it is normally insightful. Thank you. ~D