As I mentioned in my last post, my psychologist gave me much to think about when she linked the amount of work I spend on happiness to the fact that I have much to be happy about, which means taking inventory of it all through mindfulness would naturally take a good deal of time. The image that came to my mind was “counting my happy money.” I don’t know why it came to me, maybe because it is like the sayings, “an embarrassment of riches”, “count your blessings”, and “pay it forward”. In any event, I find it kind of amusing and so it has stuck in my mind.
Last week, I focused as well as I could on counting my happy money. Looking at each gold bar in my Fort Knox of things for which I am grateful. I am no stranger to Positive Psychology and know that expressing gratitude is linked to increased happiness.
Even so, I was taken aback about how calming it was to use gratitude and appreciation at the times I was feeling unhappy. When I wrote the post about appreciating my husband even though I was mad at him, he was actually sitting next to me. I knew I was mad at him for the wrong reason. I was taking some parenting stress out on him. But I was still upset. By writing, felt a gradual re-centering, a misting of calm, that cooled me off, pulled me back into my orbit around reality.
What a soothing exercise. I have used that strategy in the past at a time I was extremely distraught. I just started writing a list of positives, the resources I had that would help the situation. That a very constructive coping strategy, which helped me avoid panic. But using gratitude and appreciation last week, when I was not so stressed, actually made me feel happy and calm.
I am so very thankful to have had the Pay it Forward opportunity. What a gift.
What a beautiful blog you have here. It is soothing to combat stress with gratitude and we can never forget that, thank you for the reminder and inspiration.
Thank you very much!
Impressive and inspirational blog.
But you know me. It has to remind me of a song.
Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the negative. Latch on to the affirmative. Don’t mess with Mr. in between etc.
Mom, does dad know about your close relationship with Jiminy Cricket?
dear Elizabeth,
it was wonderful to read this post – about counting your “happy money”, and the thoughts behind the kind of exercise you used to write about how much you love and value John – while you were still mad at him and he was sitting right beside you!!! wonder if he was just a teensy bit nervous at first?! but oh, how both his and your hearts must have come together in that time – that in spite of a little marital discord, you were focused on what you wanted to express – your love for him, and for so many reasons. such a poignant and lovely photo of the two of you!
I laughed out loud reading your Mom’s needing to relate you post to a song, then your question about her close relationship to Jiminy Cricket! BAWHAAHAA!
much love to you, and thanks Elizabeth’s Mom!
Karen xoxoxo
Xoxoxo.
At this point in our marriage, he doesn’t care!
I don’t believe that for a second.