You may have heard that it rains a lot in Seattle. It does rain more than average, there’s no getting around it. But there are a lot of much rainier cities. We don’t even make the top 10 rainiest U.S. cities, by a long shot. The entire eastern seaboard of the U.S. gets more annual rainfall than Seattle. Here’s the deal, though. We get primarily light rain. And it’s spread over many many days. While a significant portion of the nation has the rainiest time of the year in the summer, we have our rainiest time in the winter. Here, up north, it’s really dark, too. Seattle knows how to pile on the dreary during winter.
But even in winter, there are beautiful days. Yesterday, Christmas Day, was one of them. My husband and I walked down to the beach. The wind was gentle and the sky was blue. I spent a good bit of the walk stripped down to a short sleeved t-shirt. Granted, I had a Lupron shot last month and the furnace usually kicks in about this time but still, I was walking on a Seattle beach during winter in a t-shirt. What a glorious day.
I happen to think that the contrast between how our city looks on a sunny day versus a cloudy or rainy day is one of the reasons that we have a reputation for being a wetter city than we actually are. It’s disappointing to visit Seattle after seeing all of the glorious photos of the mountains and the sea only to be drizzled upon. But I don’t visit here. I live here. I know that the sun will come out again and that I will see it.
People in my city, especially natives, such as myself, often remark that our part of the world would not be so beautiful without the rain. This is true. We have some of the most beautiful summer weather I have ever experienced. And there is so much sunlight with very long days. Without the rainy, dreary days, though we would not have the abundant greens, the trees, bushes, mosses, and lichens. Winter is a time when plants focus their energy below the ground. The rain is essential for root growth, the foundation of plant life. Without precipitation, there is no snow on the mountains. We are so lucky to live in a city bound by two snow-capped mountain ranges. The winter snow on our mountains is also our water supply for the dry months of the year.
We need the wet and dreary days for life. It’s not just that the bad weather makes us appreciate the sunny days more because of the contrast. We actually require it. I’ve been thinking of this a lot in terms of how it relates to life, in general. Are sadness, disappointment, grief, and other painful emotions and experiences necessary for life? More so, do they enhance our lives?
I don’t know. I am pretty sure that seeking out suffering is a bad idea. Let’s not look for trouble. And denying suffering in oneself or others is invalidating. I am working a lot on acceptance of the things in my life that weigh on me heavily on a daily basis and are sometimes terrifying. Okay, it’s not “things”, it’s a thing. The thing is parenting my 16 year-old brilliant fireball. A few weeks ago, I had an epiphany followed by some meaningful adjustments in my behavior.
I realized on a deep and visceral level that I can’t protect her from the world or from the consequences of poor judgements that she makes. I didn’t abdicate responsibility but I relinquished the fantasy of control. I am still as busy parenting as I’ve ever been but my efforts are less frenzied and whirling. This acceptance was also accompanied by deep sadness. But the sadness was grounding instead of frenetic and anxious. I’m not going to kid myself and announce that acceptance is my new permanent state of being. My state of being, especially as a parent, will continue fluctuate. But this is an important shift.
I don’t know the future so I really don’t know how to end this post. What I do know is that every sunny time is to be celebrated and that the dreariest times cannot be wished away. I am learning more and more not to manufacture suffering; why would I want more of that? I am learning more and more to accept this as how life should be simply because that’s the way life is.
Christmas at the beach.
My Eyes Are Up Here 
My favorite blog. Well thought out, well written, kind, generous, you may add every beautiful adjective to my comment! Thanks.
Wow, Mom! Thanks!
dear Elizabeth,
I truly love this post. when you spoke about parenting your daughter, I was so completely taken by these words: “I didn’t abdicate responsibility but I relinquished the fantasy of control.”
and all the references to how rainy days give way to the abundance of flora and brings out all the variations of lush greens are superbly written. I hear the wonder and the gratitude in your voice and I am so happy that you have so much surrounding you to nourish and inspire both your life in your beloved City, and how it translates to life lived each day; no matter if the skies sprinkle light and misty rain, or the sun decides to shine upon the moistness of the raindrops to refresh and renew all of the beautiful nature that surrounds you, you are so fortunate to be able to know and appreciate those silver linings
beautiful, beautiful post, Elizabeth. thank you!
much love,
Karen ooxoo.
Thank you, Karen. I have been thinking of you during the holidays. It must be a challenging time. I hope that you are getting some good time with your family. Xoxoxo.
Elizabeth, this is a great post! I love the way you use the weather as an extended metaphor for life. So very true.
Thanks, Beth!
I visited Seattle twice in the early 2000’s for work. Both times I was struck by the beauty of the place, the many contrasts that exist there. As a visitor I didn’t relate to it as more or less rainy than other places, but coming from the UK that’s not difficult! I really like this post Elizabeth. It strikes so many chords with me and there is so much I’ve had to learn about being parent to an only child, helping him grow up by learning to let him go his own way. It has not always been easy and we have both made mistakes but fortunately they haven’t diminished our relationship. I think you hit the nail on the head when you say we need to learn to accept the way life is – we cause ourselves and our loved ones far less angst when we do that.