My husband, John and I were married in the late winter of 1990. It snowed that morning, creating a slight but unnecessary panic. I remember waiting A LONG time in the bride’s room. My niece, Tricia, who was about 5 or 6 years old at the time, kept unwinding the greenery from the rose she was to carry in the ceremony. She picked off the leaves and then dropped a couple of them down the front of my dress, in the space between the satin lining and the lace overlay. Tricia also entertained us with comments like, “I wonder what would happen if a MAN came in here while we were all getting dressed?” She seemed to find the whole bride’s room experience to be titillating.

I remember a few other things but honestly, I remember so very little from the actual ceremony and reception. My friend, Lisa, who had gotten married a few years previously had advised me to try to pay attention to what was happening so that I would remember my wedding day. I remember feeling nervous being the center of attention especially when I realized that my butt, clothed in a form-fitting mermaid style dress, was going to be facing the guests for nearly the entire ceremony. Yes, this was silly. And you may be thinking that this was an awful lot of self-consciousness for a 10 minute long ceremony. However, it was a Catholic wedding and an hour long! My butt was on display throughout Bible readings, songs, and candle lighting. Go ahead and judge me; I just want to make sure that you have your facts straight. Kidding aside, although our wedding was very meaningful, it was also very stressful. I was not as present as I could have been.

That wedding day 25 years ago today. A lot led up that that day in March. We had dated for three years. We were young but we did not rush into anything. I was ready to get married, as ready as I could be. After all, I’d caught six wedding bouquets! It was my turn! I’d also purchased my dress before John proposed. (There is a reasonable explanation for that. Just believe me.) Seriously, we were seriously in love and although like any relationship, ours was imperfect, I was confident that John was the man for me.

I have thought a lot about what to do for John for our silver wedding anniversary. We exchange gifts, though typically not lavish ones. I thought I might write some wedding vows for him to cover the next 25 years of marriage and post it here.

I started thinking about a lot of promises, old and new. I started thinking about the challenges were are likely to have in the next chapter in our marriage. Every marriage is different. Our marriage is built on a foundation of love, honesty, and genuine fondness for one another. Even a foundation made from the strongest materials needs, mortar however. Ours is being engaged with one another.

My vow is to work my hardest to be present. And when I find myself stuck in a past that will never change or in a future that I will never know, I will find my way back to you as fast as my legs will carry me.

wedding picture


This is where we celebrated our anniversary last weekend, Salish Lodge at Snoqualmie Falls. This is about a 45 minute drive from Seattle.


On the drive back home, we stopped on Mercer Island for a walk along Lake Washington.