Facts | My Eyes Are Up Here

I had a routine screening mammogram on 5/7/12 at the mobile mammogram unit (a mobile home that travels around the Swedish Neighborhood Clinics in Seattle) for Swedish Comprehensive Breast Center. By early the next week, the main Swedish office called to schedule a diagnostic mammogram, which I had on 5/17. I underwent the mammogram and an ultrasound. On the same day, the radiologist who had completed the mammogram told me that there was a very small area of tissue in my right breast that didn’t look like the rest of the tissue. She recommended an ultrasound guided biopsy. I had the biopsy done on 5/22.

Today is May 24th. At about 10 am, the radiologist called to tell me the results of the biopsy. As soon as she identified herself, I figured that the biopsy showed malignancy. Why would they have a physician call with news that the results were benign? That’s a lot of phone calls plus people receiving that happy news probably wouldn’t have technical questions. Anyway, the doctor, whose name still escapes me, told me that I have the most common kind of breast cancer, invasive ductal carcinoma. Based on the imaging, the size of the tumor appears to be 1 cm but they won’t really know until surgery.

Within an hour, I was contacted by Dr. Beatty’s office to schedule a 1 1/2 hour long consultation about surgery, at 10 am tomorrow. I was happy to hear that I was referred to Dr. Beatty as he was highly recommended to me by my friend, Nancy, a cancer survivor and fellow psychologist who worked for four years overseeing cancer support groups in Seattle. When I told her what I knew, she was extremely reassuring and said (paraphrasing a bit), “Your cancer sounds straight-forward and boring. All of the surgeons at Swedish have done thousands of surgeries like this.” Then she said, “Well, I know it’s not boring to you” but I said, “I like to hear that my cancer sounds boring.” I do not want to be the star of a medical text book, no thank you. Nancy also offered to change her client schedule to be at the surgeons appointment with us. I am so grateful.

The last fact for today is that my hubby and I decided to wait until tomorrow to tell our 13 year-old daughter about this. We don’t want to tell her today and then send her off to school tomorrow. I hope the conversation goes as well as can be expected.

The purpose of this blog is twofold. First, the obvious reason is that writing about having cancer will be therapeutic for me. Thanks to my mom for the idea. Second, it gives all of you loved ones, whom I invited to this blog, an opportunity to get an update on what is going on and how things are going. I am keeping my last name off of the blog so that it doesn’t come in people’s Google searches for information about my professional services. I’d rather not have one of the first things that people learn about me is that I have breast cancer. I haven’t hidden my health status from people in my practice, the parents anyway, but I would rather explain it to people directly.

Finally, since I am a psychologist in private practice, I know how to communicate with authority, as if I know what I am talking about. And in my job, I have the knowledge to back it up. However, in my blog, I talk about medical issues. So although I am knowledgeable about medical stuff for someone who does not work in medicine, please don’t confuse my know-it-all communication style with actual actual expertise. I am learning as I go along and often go back to correct errors in my posts after I’ve learned more. And then there are the mistakes I make that I don’t catch. Moreover, cancer is not one illness and even for breast cancer, there are multiple different diseases. And even for those of you who might also have, or know someone with ductal carcinoma, every case is different. But the common element among all individuals with cancer is the stress of facing a life threatening illness while still trying to be a full person, not just a cancer patient. So whether you and I are in the same boat or if a loved one is in this boat, I send you my most healing prayers and wishes.