Archives for category: Not Cancer-the other part of my life

I learned my cancer diagnosis on May 24th. Tomorrow will mark 6 weeks since learning the information that if not turning my life upside down, has shaken things up quite a bit. As you know, I have a private psychology practice. What you may not know is that the busiest time of the year for my practice is the end of the school year. Since I specialize in disorders that greatly impact school, there is a rush at the end of the year to get testing done so that support plans can be started before everybody leaves for the summer.

I have a very busy practice and there is a sizable wait time for an initial appointment. By the time I learned of my breast cancer in late May, I already had testing appointments scheduled into late August as well as having planned two separate week long vacations during that month. Now I’m not denying that I am very good at my job but part of my popularity has to do with the fact that there’s a big shortage of specialists who do what I do. I also accept insurance and I am on some major insurance company networks, which is not true of a number of child/adolescent psychologists who specialize in testing. Dealing with insurance is a pain but I make a good living at what I do, for which I am grateful, and I am able to work with a broader range of families, not just people who can afford to pay my fees out of pocket.

When I was diagnosed, I was very worried that I would not be able to finish all of the assessments I had scheduled between 5/24 and the end of August. I’m not concerned that I will not be able to administer all of the tests. That’s the easy part. The time consuming part is scoring, reviewing background information (for example, I request all past progress reports/report cards going back to kindergarten), figuring out what it all means, and writing up the report. A short report runs about 5 pages and a comprehensive assessment (which is the norm for me) runs about 7-9 pages. To honor all of those commitments I will have needed to have finished 17 reports between 5/24 and 8/17. The kid I scheduled for testing at the end of August, will not need his report done until early September at the earliest.

So yes, I have felt overwhelmed by the amount of writing I need to get done each week and each week, I wonder whether I will be able to finish it all. It is still unclear as to whether I will get all of this done but using my strategy of focusing on what I have already accomplished instead of just on what looms in the future, I made a list of everything that I’ve finished as well as what is still to be done.

So, here are my tallies. Since I was diagnosed with cancer on 5/24, I have written 8 of the 17 reports. By the end of the week, I will have completed an additional two reports for a total of 10 reports. After this week, this is my to-do list for testing between next week and the end of August:

Administer testing to three kids.
7 reports to write
9 parent feedback sessions to go over reports and my recommendations.

This still seems manageable to me. I know things can change and I’ll deal with that when it happens.

Yeah, I know this post is kind of boring. But stress management is not exciting. I have too much excitement in my life, hence the excess of stress, and the use of boredom as an antidote.

 

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John’s birthday is actually tomorrow, but I have work followed by a big doctor’s appointment, which could potentially usurp his birthday. Even if the pathology report has good news, I may be too pooped to party.

Anyway, back to John. As most of you know, my husband is an awesome guy. I was almost 21 years old when we met. I had not dated much in high school at all and had a few boyfriends in college, none of them being the greatest match for me or vice versa. As only a young adult’s logic can take them, I was coming to the conclusion that perhaps my lack of luck with men was a calling to become a nun, sort of by default. I was seriously considering meeting with Sister Catherine, at our church when I met John in a writing class at U.W. We both needed to take a writing class as a graduation requirement. This particular class, which had about 20 students, was linked to a huge lecture class taught by the famous history professor, Jon Bridgman. That class had about 500 students and covered classical history.

I first noticed John’s intelligence and kindness. He was a thoughtful speaker. It was clear that he liked to read (myself also a book lover) and that he took his education seriously. (I’d had a previous boyfriend or two who was more interested in begging me for my lecture notes instead of attending class.) There were a few minor obstacles, like the fact that he had a long distance girlfriend and that although he thought I was beautiful and a nice person, he didn’t like me. In his words, I was “loud and obnoxious.” I also thought his sense of humor was pretty lame and corny. (Yes, I know this is a shock since John is known for his wit.) But John was at times so amused with the absurd thoughts in his mind that he would just laugh for 20 minutes straight only to be able to choke out a word or two between guffaws, for example, “cock roaches!” See, not so hilarious without knowing his mind.

In the 25 years that John and I have been together, I sometimes think of how different my life would have been if I had just moved on after John told me that I was too loud and obnoxious for him or when he told me that he had a girlfriend. Something told me that things would work out and that we would be a good pair. Plus, my mom even liked him based on description and said that I should be patient because he sounded like a really good guy.

John and I were in different states during the 1st of his birthdays he’s had since we’ve been together. It was the summer of 1987 and he was working at fish canneries in Alaska. For his birthday, I made him two care packages. The first was “things that don’t smell like fish” and I filled it with homemade potpourris and sachets of herbs. The second box was “things that don’t taste like fish” and it was filled with homemade baklava and other goodies. I’ve never thought of this before but in the last several years, we’ve traditionally celebrated John’s birthday with a “seafood blow-out”, which is my cooking all kinds of seafood for dinner.

We might need to hold off on the “seafood blow-out” tomorrow. Did I mention that I’ve been pretty tired lately? Instead, I offer this “gratitude blow-out” to John. Happy Birthday, John. I’m glad I was patient with you and I’m glad that you took a chance on me! You are a wonderful person, husband, and dad.

Hi, this is from my mom’s blog about their day with Zoey on surgery day:

My mom’s blog

Enjoy

I love my garden. I got to walk around in it a little today. Plus, my friend Jennie came by with a lasagna (thanks, Jennie) and we got to smell the roses together. The roses are in bloom right now and I cut a bouquet for the inside of the house.

I wish I could share the fragrance, too!

Okay, so the post I put up about the hate-spam I received on my “Lots of Kindness” post, also got hate-spammed! And with the very same hate-spam as before. This time I copied it so you can see for yourself:

The subsequent time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I imply, I do know it was my option to read, however I truly thought youd have something fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you might fix if you happen to werent too busy looking for attention.

Also, received today FROM THE VERY SAME SPAMMER IN RESPONSE TO THE VERY SAME POST:

I needed to create you this tiny word to finally thank you once again with your awesome tips you’ve shared here. This is so incredibly open-handed with people like you in giving freely just what many people could possibly have offered as an electronic book to get some money on their own, precisely since you might have tried it if you ever wanted. These strategies also acted to become good way to be certain that other people online have the same desire the same as my own to realize somewhat more regarding this matter. I’m certain there are several more pleasurable sessions in the future for those who find out your website.

 

See Mom? They are not reading my posts. These are just ridiculous attempts at getting me to visit their websites.

The latest:

I had been wanting to know if you ever considered changing the page layout of your blog? It is very well written; I enjoy what you have got to say. But maybe you can include a little more in the way of content so people could connect to it better. You have got a great deal of wording for only having one or two photos. Maybe you can space it out better?

Reading these spam comments is more fun than reading a badly translated video game manual. This one kind of reads like a horoscope because it says everything and nothing at the same time: Your blog is very well written but needs to be better written. I, a stranger enjoyed reading it but you need to write it better so people will connect with it.

Well my post on kindness has attracted more spam. Perhaps this post is the cyber world equivalent of a fried egg or something. Anyway, this time they are taking a more positive approach. For example,

Hmm it looks like your website ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any points for beginner blog writers? I’d genuinely appreciate it.

Well, that sounds legit, right? And you know how I love to give people tips. Hmm. Maybe I’d better check to see where this comment came from. Ah yes, it’s my good friends at  seizedandrepocars.com.

 

 

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I’m just about to dash off to an appointment and I had an impulse to work on a bumper sticker slogan for parenting a teen. Okay, so this could be rough. You are seeing the early workings of my mind on trying to generate some thing funny and yet pithy. Pith does not come easily. Can you tell from this long preamble.

 

Drum roll please….

Parenting–like a long marathon through a magnificent forest, with wild animals and dirty laundry along the way.

There you go, hot off of the brainstorming mind of sleep deprived me. I will post edits as they arise.

Lindbergh High School Reunion '82, '83, '84, '85

Join us this summer for our reunion in Renton, WA!

George Lakoff

George Lakoff has retired as Distinguished Professor of Cognitive Science and Linguistics at the University of California at Berkeley. His newest book "The Neural Mind" is now available.

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