Protected: My common sense meter needs readjusting
I know I have been ranting lately about the cost of things–my Lupron shots (thousands of dollars) and my daughter’s school year book ($70).
So I thought I’d take a step back and stop ranting about how expensive things are.
Now I have a rant about how cheap something is. That something is a shot of Botox!
I passed a sign in my neighborhood advertising for $13 Botox injections!?!?!
If I wanted to become wrinkle free with injections of botulism, I want the expensive kind. Cheap botulism sounds kind of scary, like a long forgotten science project in the back of the refrigerator. I’m wondering if the clinic makes it themselves in the back room. (Note to self: If this business ever tries to expand their line of products to home canned produce, don’t buy any.)
Okay, wait a minute. Their website says “$13/unit.” I imagine that if you only need one unit, you don’t really have a use for Botox.
Order has been restored to my mind.
There was about a month-and-a-half between my right side mastectomy and the placement of the tissue expander. Consequently, I lived with an “unleavened breast” for a good while. I needed some humor to help me deal with the state of my body. So I wrote, not one, not two, but three blogs with joke names for my breasts. Looking back at this, it seems a bit absurd. But it did help get me through a rough time. Honestly,
I originally posted Righty Needs a New Name on 8/28/13.
For some reason, I am finding a need to refer to the right side of my chest as something other than “surgical site.” It’s going to be several weeks before I start the temporary inflation process with the tissue expander so a name would be handy. And yes, I could stick with “righty” but that implies some kind of symmetry with “lefty”. A few ideas of various levels of quality:
The Tissue Formerly Known as Righty
Breast-to-Be (I kind of like this one. Maybe a friend will throw me a shower before surgery. Yay, presents!)
Vegetarian Sweater Meat
Ugly Duckling (Some day it will turn into a bee-you-ti-ful swan.)
Breasterpillar (Some day it will turn into a bee-you-ti-ful breasterfly.)
Puppy Pupa (continuing with the metamorphosis theme)
Empty Jug
Sad Sack (waah!)
Berefticle (waah!)
Scarla
Storage Chest
Bosom in Waiting
Breast, in Space Saver Mode
Unleavened Breast
Late Bloomer
Bosom’s Buddy
Fixer Upper
Do-Over
The Start of Something Big
Under the Shoulder Boulder Holder
The next day, I had still not gotten this out of my system and I posted, The Name Game (Continued).
Okay, so my cousin, Beth got me thinking about coming up with names for both righty and lefty. They are a set of a kind. So here goes, my stream of consciousness. As I did yesterday, I will add more as inspiration arises:
Boob and Boo Boo
Scooby and Scrappy
Lefty and Lucy (inspired by John’s suggestion “Righty Tighty and Lefty Loose-y”, which is backwards, unfortunately)
Benjamin and Button
Mammy and Mummy
Party and Pooped
Ta-da! and To-do
Zan and Jayna (The Wonder Twins, suggestion thanks to Lisa)
Waggy and Baggy
Jiggly and Scraggly
Lennie and Squiggy
Herman and Pee Wee
Judy and Punched
Hit and Miss
Denver and Phoenix (Okay, a little obscure but think about it and then groan.)
Teton and Won Ton
Ham Bow and Big Ow
Yin and Yang
Mickey and Mini (spelling intentional and I hear you all groaning.)
Bonnie and Clyde
Cupid and Psyche
Ernie and Bert (Okay, this one makes no sense but made me smile so I’m keeping it.)
Lilo and Stitched
Oscar and Felix
Simba and Scar
Wow and Ow
On 8/31/13, my parents got into the act so of course, I posted it in, Name Game-Part III, A Family Affair.
So my mom has been dying to come up with a name to contribute to the name game. Earlier today she told me that she didn’t think she could think of something because because she “loved me too much” and didn’t want to make light of my cancer.
Oh how the love has faded because, drum roll please…, she has contributed:
Liv and Let Live
My dad, not to be left out and offering a mechanical interpretation:
Built and Re-Built
Both of those ideas made me laugh aloud after a very hard day. So I guess they love me a lot after all.
My daughter’s high school is selling yearbooks for $70!!!! The results of my non-scientific Facebook poll suggests that this is going rate for U.S. high school year books. There are a lot of kids from low income families at my daughter’s school. It just doesn’t seem right. Can’t they do something less fancy so that more students can have one? Do the cheerleaders, athletes, and prom court campaign for expensive books so that they can view their popularity in full color with an indestructible binding?
After yesterday, John was needing a laugh. So I showed him this hilarious youtube video, Sad Cat Diary. He loved it and it was another way to celebrate the life of our cat because there are so many truths about their unique behavior described in the video. The video was all over Facebook so you may have already viewed it. If you haven’t, check it out. It’s well worth viewing.
Here’s a description about a new reconstruction technique. It sounds amazing!
It’s been a tough couple of weeks here at Recon Central. As I mentioned in my last post, I’m currently going through breast reconstruction, and contrary to the Hollywood version (i.e., a woman decides to get new breasts following her mastectomy and a half hour later is sporting a pair of perfect, perky boobs), my experience has been less than immediate. Or ideal.
Without getting too technical — or too graphic — let’s just say the body’s healing process can be excruciatingly slow, scary and gross. Especially when you’re dealing with radiated skin which is touchier than a hornet on steroids. I’m currently a month out from surgery and Lefty (my radiated breast) still looks like something you might see on The Walking Dead. But while it’s not pretty (or healthy — yet), the takeaway is that I actually have two small breasts where I only had well-developed pecs before.
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Protected: Breaking Orbit
Cancer Curmudgeon posted this story about Ken Burns’ production of a documentary based on the book, “The Emperor of All Maladies.” Like her, I am very excited. I loved that book. I am very comforted by being able to put myself within a larger context and this book helped me do just that, in the early months of my diagnosis. My medical oncologist recommended that I read it as did my husband. I was also heartened by reading about the enormous strides that have been made in cancer assessment and treatment. I know that assessment and treatment of breast cancer is far from perfect but reading about the history and tracing the progression of the way my illness has been dealt with was very encouraging. The documentary is planned to air two years from now.
Stay tuned!
Just like the Proclaimers, I have something to announce:
Today it is exactly 6 months since I started tracking the amount I walk each day. And today, I passed the 500 mile mark!
And a glorious walk, it was! Sunny with a pleasant wind full of beautiful plants, the sea, and friendly neighborhood dogs.
My Eyes Are Up Here 