Parenting | My Eyes Are Up Here

Zoey had an art assignment to do a portrait of herself displaying an emotion. She chose to draw herself displaying shock. I’m not sure the assignment was due before or after I told her that I had cancer, but I thought it showed one aspect of this experience very well. She seems to be doing pretty well, by the way so try not to worry. Or as John put it, “Wow Zoey, that’s really good. I’d put it in a frame it if it weren’t so horrifying.”

P.S. Zoey would probably want you to know that she was only given three days to complete this assignment as an explanation for why it is not somehow fancier or better in some way. I think it’s fabulous even if she’d spent the whole year on it. And given that I’m still working on Stick Figure Drawing 101, if I’d drawn this, I’d probably have it tattooed to my forehead.

So I told Zoey about my cancer last Friday. She had a pretty hard weekend. She was really anxious, moody, and complained of “not feeling well,” especially when we wanted to go some where or do something rather than watch tv. My parents had a dinner party yesterday. She was complaining a little about going. Zoey doesn’t always really “listen” to what I say so even though I told her who was going to the dinner, it didn’t really register that her beloved cousins would not be at the dinner until about 20 minutes before it was time to leave. She was disappointed, but did not balk at going. Then we got into the car and I accidentally slammed her fingers in the car door! She ran out from the car and into the house. Many 13 year-old type declarations were made about how she was declining her invitation to the dinner party. However, we have a policy in these incidences of not allowing her to stay home by herself. She took issue with family policy as only a gifted 13 year-old Zoey can, by running out the door and climbing the Douglas Fir in the back yard. My father-in-law happened to be in the front yard and holding her coat. When he saw her run out the door he said, “Wherever you’re going, you’re going to need this coat.” So she put it on while on her way to the tree.

Our Douglas Fir was planted when the house was built in 1958. It’s TALL. She goes there for fun or when she needs time away. When I was a teen, I did the same thing. I went to nature when I was upset, though we had woods not just one tree. Anyway, I wanted a couple of minutes before walking to the tree and looking up. She had climbed 25-30 feet up that tree. (I was silently relieved that she was able to scale that tree after having accidentally slammed her fingers in my door.) I said, “It’s not too late to change your mind.” Then I went back inside. I came out after another 5 minutes and said, “You are up pretty high. You’re a really good tree climber.” She said, “Is it too late to go?” I replied, “No, come on down.”

We ended up having a really good time at my mom and dad’s. I was proud of Zoey for turning a bad situation around so fast. It’s got to be awfully upsetting to have a mom with cancer when you are trying to be a fearless master of the world.