There have been a number of “three words” posts. I think this is an excellent exercise for each of us to really think about what is most important right now to have a better now and a better future. As you may have read previously, I have my own three words that came to me years ago at a time I was at an all time low and needing to get myself off of the ground to rally for my own health and happiness. The words that popped into my mind were, “patience, persistence, and peace.” The first two words are means and peace was the goal. Peace, I suspect, will always be a goal of mine, on all possible levels.
After reading a couple of the three word essays, I find that there is only one word that comes to mind for my life at this present moment. The word is “balance”. I know, this is not a new concept for women. We’ve read all kinds of writings about the difficulty in achieving balance between work and family, for example. I’m talking about emotional balance. I’m talking about intellectual balance. I am talking about using my emotional depth and my reasoning in concert.
It is so easy to use fear to avoid doing what I need to do. It is easy to let fear lead me to not set reasonable boundaries with people and to end up helping too much. Fear can also lead to my too often seeking reassurance by being clingy or naggy. Fear can lead me to set too hard boundaries, to avoid people and to lose my temper.
One might think that reason and intellect are the answer. But reason can be invalidating. “I shouldn’t feel this way.” Or it can be deluding when I rationalize decisions that are not in keeping with my own values of kindness and compassion. “I can act this way because so and so did such and such to me and deserves this!”
One of the mindfulness concepts I am learning in my six month class is “wise mind”. Wise mind accepts and validates emotion. Wise mind uses reason. Wise mind uses emotion and reason in tandem, in a way that promotes health and reduces suffering. When emotion mind meets reasonable mind, it is like the Wonder Twins! They are no longer the sum of their parts. They are wise mind. With wise mind, comes balance and calm. So I would like to increase the balance in my life through increasing my use of wise mind.
Balance. Wise. Mind.
I guess I had three words after all.
My Eyes Are Up Here 
Health, healing, home. 😃😃
Yes, yes, yes! It sounds like you are still in hospital, Helen. Xoxoxo.
You got that right!!!
Balance is one of my words this year too. It’s tough to come by isn’t it? Your class sounds amazing and very worthwhile. And oh, Helen, I love your words too!
Balance and balancing. One is still the other isn’t. Actually, they are both dynamic, I think.
Faith, Hope & Love.
Those are beautiful words, Mom.
Hi, I’m a Nichiren Buddhist, a member of the SGI. I chant Nam Myoho Renge kyo twice a day., I chant until I feel in balance again. I find this a very helpful technique. Just say it over an over in an even tone until you feel flooded with insight. Until you are smiling! Feel free to email me if you have questions.
Peace,
Julie in San Diego
Thank you, Julie.
A wise and balanced post!
Thanks!
dear Elizabeth,
I am so glad you have been able to come to the conclusion in selecting your words for this year. sometimes the process of writing it out leaves us with a lovely surprise – one that fits perfectly and give us that satisfying ahha moment just when we need it. I am always in awe of how you tie in your experiences, your expectations, your contemplations that lead to the crux of your stories. it’s go engaging and creative! wonderful post!
much love,
Karen OXO