There have been a number of “three words” posts. I think this is an excellent exercise for each of us to really think about what is most important right now to have a better now and a better future. As you may have read previously, I have my own three words that came to me years ago at a time I was at an all time low and needing to get myself off of the ground to rally for my own health and happiness. The words that popped into my mind were, “patience, persistence, and peace.” The first two words are means and peace was the goal. Peace, I suspect, will always be a goal of mine, on all possible levels.

After reading a couple of the three word essays, I find that there is only one word that comes to mind for my life at this present moment. The word is “balance”. I know, this is not a new concept for women. We’ve read all kinds of writings about the difficulty in achieving balance between work and family, for example. I’m talking about emotional balance. I’m talking about intellectual balance. I am talking about using my emotional depth and my reasoning in concert.

It is so easy to use fear to avoid doing what I need to do. It is easy to let fear lead me to not set reasonable boundaries with people and to end up helping too much. Fear can also lead to my too often seeking reassurance by being clingy or naggy. Fear can lead me to set too hard boundaries, to avoid people and to lose my temper.

One might think that reason and intellect are the answer. But reason can be invalidating. “I shouldn’t feel this way.” Or it can be deluding when I rationalize decisions that are not in keeping with my own values of kindness and compassion. “I can act this way because so and so did such and such to me and deserves this!”

One of the mindfulness concepts I am learning in my six month class is “wise mind”. Wise mind accepts and validates emotion. Wise mind uses reason. Wise mind uses emotion and reason in tandem, in a way that promotes health and reduces suffering. When emotion mind meets reasonable mind, it is like the Wonder Twins! They are no longer the sum of their parts. They are wise mind. With wise mind, comes balance and calm. So I would like to increase the balance in my life through increasing my use of wise mind.

Balance. Wise. Mind.

I guess I had three words after all.