I am kind of a beast in the kitchen. I am absorbed with cooking and getting things done. Focused on these goals I can sometimes miss dangers. This is why I often burn myself and even more often, put bruises on my hips by not taking care around the sharp corners of counters. I typically notice these injuries for only a short time and keep going. Later I might feel pain and wonder, “What happened?”

Breast cancer treatment requires a lot of corner cutting when it comes to the rest of life. There are things that fall by the wayside. I think this is a significant part of the reason that recovery takes so long. Not only does it take time for strength to return (assuming that it does at all) but even after returned we find ourselves with a lot more work to do.

There’s no such thing as cutting corners without a consequence. Work accumulates. As for myself, I have a huge amount of filing that did not get done for the last almost three years. And then there’s the relationship attention that did not occur. Spouses and children who got short shrift.

You know those people in our lives that missed out or are still missing out on us? They are also feeling ripped off. They want their due. They want restitution for the extra work that they do. And like people, they look to other people for that restitution. They want more of us. We want more of them.

Cancer, you deserve the lion’s share of the blame. But you are scary and abstract. You are deadly. You will never change on your own volition. Blaming you is so very unsatisfying. You don’t love us. Our friends and family do. So, it makes so much more sense to expect more of them, right?

Or does it?