(Yes, I know. Two posts in one day. It happens.)
I woke up this morning, thinking, “Today’s act of self-care is getting myself to my regularly scheduled Weight Watchers meeting.” I know. I just got home from the hospital. If I hadn’t been up for it, I wouldn’t have gone.
I’m glad I went. There are some very supportive and refreshing people in that Sunday mid-morning meeting. Unfortunately, our regular leader, Jody, was away at a conference. Jody is really quite marvelous. It’s typically chef’s surprise when there is a substitute. The substitute leader had good energy and was funny. However, she did not incorporate group input very well. My husband noted that she talked over people and that the things she said sometimes contradicted themselves.
I wasn’t enjoying her talk and at one point she said that our bodies have “always been loyal to us” but we are not always loyal to them. She also said that we deserved to have “our favorite body”. I have worked really hard against my perfectionistic tendencies as well as the thought that I can control my health outcomes absolutely. One of the other women responded to the loyalty comment, “I don’t know about that.” She is 80 years-old and has had rheumatoid arthritis since she was a child. She is also very active and runs a group foster home for teens. I also piped up, “Yes, so-and-so (the 80-year-old member), has had a chronic health condition since she was a child. Those things happen but they aren’t fair. I’ve had cancer. I felt like my body had betrayed me but I came to look at disease as a natural disaster. Sometimes they just happen.”
In response to the “favorite body” phrase I said, “Although that might be a helpful frame for other people, it doesn’t work for me.” Then she said, “I’m going to challenge you on that.” I replied, ‘You can’t challenge me on that. “Favorite” is subjective and determined by me, not by anyone else. I work to be happy with the body I have. I’m 51. I’ve had cancer. I will never have my favorite body. I was healthier and fitter when I was 20 and that’s the way it is.’ She replied by saying that “favorite” didn’t mean comparing. I said, “But favorite is comparative.” She didn’t get it and I could tell that she wouldn’t get it. It was clear that nothing was going to come out of the conversation so I stopped challenging her.
One of the points she made was that she was really talking about attachment. You have a “favorite body” like a kid has a favorite stuffed animal, no matter what it looks like or how it wears out over time. The use of the word “loyalty” also refers to relationship and trust, just as attachment does. Maybe it would have made more sense to talk about having “The Velveteen Body” after the book, The Velveteen Rabbit. I’m not sure the analogy works for me but it at least gives me something interesting to think about.
I do like that a Velveteen Body is one that is much loved, one that provides comfort, and one that is real.
My Eyes Are Up Here 
You are so right. No matter how much weight we lose we are not going to have our 25 year old body back. I think my eyes would have popped out of my head from all the rolling if I would have been in that meeting..lol
Thank you for reading and commenting. I see that you have a WW cooking blog. I will check it out!
Well done!
Xoxoxo.
I’m with you. Maybe this is why I haven’t had made it back to Weight Watchers meetings in over a decade now. Okay, probably not!
I find them really helpful if they have a skilled leader. If not, meeting attendance is not helpful. The last time I lost weight, I did their online program. I had gained a good bit of the weight back so I thought going to meetings would be helpful. I also bring my husband with me. We found a really good meeting with a very supportive group of members. Weight loss is so hard. If I could figure out precisely why it is sometimes much easier than others, I could retire early, living the rest of my days at a healthy body weight!
Nice blog Liz, although I still prefer the term weblog. I am glad it wasn’t a heart attack, give yourself permission to take some time off though. I looked that thing up that you got, seems way better than the alternatives. My doctor says the same thing every time about weight loss, “Well you just have to eat less and exercise more.” Really, is that all there is too it Doc? I guess my chocolate, re-fried beans and Twinkie diet has been a complete waste of time and effort for all of these years.
Joe, you are very funny!
I worked a reduced schedule this week. It’s hard to tell people who have waited 2-3 months for an appointment that they have to wait another month or so to get in. I was glad that I finished seeing patients on Tues and my next people are on Monday afternoon. I’m taking it slow and working on reports.
Yes, eating well. Easy to say, hard to do!