I have moved many times in my life. At one point, my husband and I had lived in three states in the span of 15 months, North Carolina, Florida, then Indiana. These states ARE NOT close together, I might add. By the time we moved to Indiana, I would be driving down the street and forget what city I was in. Was the main street Franklin? Walnut Street? 15th?
There was the packing, the finding a new place, the adjusting. It still surprises me that we moved to North Carolina sight unseen, ten days before our graduate programs started, and without having found an apartment ahead of time. But North Carolina is on the opposite side of the country from Washington. We did not have the time or money needed for visits ahead of time.
Now I have to move my business. We’re moving just a few blocks away. I spent a great deal of time and money making my current office just the way I wanted it. I took an entire week off from work. My husband also took an entire week off to help me. We cleaned, painted, and I decorated and furnished it. It really is a beautiful office. I knew I would not stay there forever. It is an old building on land ripe for development. But I thought I would be able to stay there considerably longer.
Moving is time consuming, a lot of work, aggravating, and expensive. For reasonable reasons, it made sense for me to take the lead in the move. I hold the lease to both our current space and the new one, for example. I am the only one who lives near the offices. I am also the only one who does not have young children. And I tend to be good at organizing things.
It is reasonable for me to take the lead in this but I must admit that it makes it makes it harder given that I don’t want to move. We are moving earlier than we have to (we have seven months remaining in our current lease) for reasonable reasons. But again, despite the fact that our decision is reasonable, it makes it hard that I don’t want to move.
We will be paying over twice as much rent. I will be getting an office that is very nice but not as nice as the one I have. That makes it hard. My office mates will be getting nicer offices than they have presently. That makes it easier for me. I feel better that overall, this is an improvement for our group.
The other consolation is that I am taking the lead in decorating the common areas. I love decorating and this is the one thing to which I am looking forward in this whole process, besides being happy for my office mates’ enthusiasm for moving.
One of my friends very nicely told me that he wanted to hear about my move. I told him, “It is boring and aggravating.” I am such a grump. But this is how I feel for the most part. I manage to be mostly cheerful because the alternative is worse. But I am working hard to maintain an upbeat attitude on top of other things in my life. My husband is having physical problems. He is having a great deal of back pain. This has been a chronic issue. A few years ago, he was bedridden for three weeks. Early last week, he fell flat on his back when getting onto the bus. The driver pulled out quickly and ran over the curb. John was unable to get up for over a full minute, an ambulance was called, and he was examined by an EMT. He did not go to the hospital but has been in a great deal of pain ever since then despite regular massage, acupuncture, and muscle relaxing pain medication.
Life can be really stressful. And then you have to pick up and move. And then maybe we get to stick around in a comfortable spot for awhile.
Oh no! Please give John my best — that is no small thing. I hope he feels better soon AND that you can settle into your new office space. All that is so stressful. I can clearly imagine moving and not wanting to but being in charge of organizing. Hard.
dear Elizabeth,
tell John I am so sorry for the traumatic and painful fall he took, and let him know I am sending my best thoughts for his comfort and healing.
I am so glad you have this space to write out all that you are going through, especially with having to start all over in the new office space. it’s good that you are able to have such a gracious and kind attitude and feel happy for your office mates. I hope when it’s time to begin decorating the space that you will enjoy using your excellent creative ideas and skills – I can’t wait to hear about the outcome. meanwhile, keep up good self care both for yourself and for John. even though the stressors you are both enduring are not the same. you can still consider being in the same boat, and offer one another much love and comfort and empathy. good, generous doses of understanding and being there for one another is a comfort in itself, as it helps move the focus away from ourselves to our beloveds – such a win/win when we can both give and receive! but there are times when worry and fatigue and pain can be so very difficult. I am sending you both boatloads of good thoughts to help you get to the other side of happy and healthy.
much love,
Karen OOXX
Thank you, Karen. I will post photos! John’s back is improving and we are taking good care of one another. I hope you are, as well!