Archives for category: Facts

I met a goal today. My BMI (body mass index) now officially lands in the “Healthy Weight” category. Hooray!!!!

Now for maintenance, which is even harder. But I am cautiously optimistic and for today, I’m going to concentrate on the achievement!

By eating better and exercising, I have:

-Decreased my chance of future serious health problems, including decreasing the chance breast cancer recurrence.
-Improved my daily quality of life. I am more energetic, positive in attitude, and confident.

-I am now a better role model of healthy living for my 14 year-old daughter.

Okay, now to celebrate with a big box of chocolates! I kid, I kid!

As they say, “You win some and you lose some.” But today both the gains and the loss are good news! We have two more minutes of day light today! And two more tomorrow! And two more the day after that! Until the summer solstice!

As for the loss, I lost a pound this week, which makes for a total of 30 pounds since May 5th! In one pound, my BMI will enter the “Healthy Weight” range. Hooray!

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I had a visit with Dr. Welk, my plastic surgeon, today. Although I have another bandage (one of those tiny round ones), I received a great award today. I do not have to see him again until February 28th! I saw Dr. Lucas, my naturopath, last Friday. I am not scheduled to see her again until February 22nd! And my next mammogram and medical oncology appointments are not until next month! I do have other healthcare appointments, not to mention the fact that I am planning to start acupuncture to address the sleep and menopause symptoms, but I have to tell you that it is a huge boost to me for these appointments to slow down some. Since my screening mammogram on May 7th of this year, I have had 70 healthcare appointments, only two of which have been unrelated to my cancer treatment. Five of those visits included time in an operating room. (I’ve had six surgeries but two of them were done on the same day. If you think I’m cheating, both surgeries hurt like Hell and also remember that I’m counting my mastectomy, which required overnight hospitalization as one healthcare visit.)

Seventy appointments is a lot for a 7 1/2 month period of time. Some people call the kind of cancer that I have, “cancer light” because I did not do chemo or radiation. And believe me, I am incredibly grateful to have skipped chemotherapy and hope to avoid it altogether in my life. I am here to tell you that there’s no such thing as “cancer light.” I’ve seen a couple of women’s blogs where they were apologizing for complaining about the inconvenience of cancer treatment because “other women have it much worse.”  This reminds me of one of the mom’s of my patients. She said, “This has been a really hard summer.” I said, “Yes, it has.” Then she apologized for complaining since I had been in cancer treatment all summer. I told her, “You don’t have to have the shittiest summer to have a shitty summer. You definitely had a shitty summer.” (I don’t normally curse but with some folks it introduces humor.)  So I may have “cancer light” but it’s still shitty.

How did I get on this tangent? Back to my story. Hooray, hooray, hooray! I have fewer doctors’ appointments for awhile! I have none at all during Christmas and New Years’ weeks!

 

I awoke to the sound of howling wind and rain this morning. I immediately thought of walking three miles in the wind and rain. It was not an appealing thought. I tried to go back to sleep because it was only 5 am. I ended up resting until my alarm went off at 6:30. I did my 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation and then took a look at the weather report. The weather report said rain and wind with “gusts up to 60 miles/hour.” 60 miles an hour?!?!?! Then I clicked on “current conditions” and it said, “Cloudy. Wind 16 mph.” Well 16 is windy but much less gusty than 60 mph. So I got dressed and started my walk.

The best compliment I can give to the first part of the walk was “unpleasant but not horrible”. I mean, it wasn’t like I’d crash landed in the Andes and had to start eating my dead friends to stay alive. Secure in the knowledge that my plight was far less dire that that of the Donner Party’s, I kept walking.

It was not only windy, but the wind was blowing from a different direction than it does typically. The upshot of this is that it was not blocked by the homes I walk by daily. In fact I felt like I was in a little wind tunnel that ran between the houses and up and down the street. I reminded myself that it wasn’t raining.

About two miles into the walk, I thought, “Wow, this is my Forrest Gump moment. I’m like Lt. Dan when he’s up on the mast of the shrimp boat in the middle of a hurricane. As the wind and rain pound him, he yells something along the lines of, “Is that the best you got, God?”

Then I thought, “No, this is not my Forrest Gump moment.” I don’t really feel that way. Plus, I am not a traumatized, embittered, and alcoholic Vietnam veteran. By this time, I had warmed up from walking. I also had the miracle of the hot flash! Instead of being biting and harsh, the wind felt good. So I took the moment of the miracle of the hot flash to envision the wind taking away the fatigue and slightly low spirits I’ve been feeling these last few days.

Does this mean that I’m going to be one of those people who takes the “Polar Bear Plunge” by swimming in the sea during the dead of winter? No. It doesn’t even mean that I’m not going to continue to invest in the best outdoor gear that I can so that I can continue my walks, rain, snow, wind, or shine.

What it does mean is that I’m going to continue to play both the good and bad cards in the hand I was dealt, the best I can. Sanity, now that a cause worth getting out of bed for.

Thank you, Cancer Curmudgeon for the nomination for Very Inspirational Blogs. There are rules that come with this nomination: 1) list 7 random facts about myself, 2) nominate 15 other bloggers for the award, and 3) tell the bloggers of their nomination.

I like the spirit of this positive and supportive pyramid (un)scheme so although I am not following the “law” of this, I’m going to try to make this good. So here is an annotated list of a few of the blogs I’ve found very inspiring over the years. Also, I don’t like the idea of choosing some of my fellow WordPress bloggers but not others, I am only talking about blogs outside of WordPress. I know, I am difficult but it is too difficult to choose, especially among my fellow breast cancer bloggers, all of whom I find extraordinarily inspirational.

1) Infertile Ground: On which I tread and sometimes kneel
This is a poignant and superbly written blog about a woman’s experience with fertility treatments over about a three year period. This blog, which I was so lucky to have encountered, was my first experience at seeing the power of blogs in helping people heal. This blog attracted a very devoted following of women struggling with infertility. They formed a very supportive community and it was clear from their comments that the blog was a wonderful resource for them. I no longer have this blog bookmarked because it was inactive for a very long time. But I see now that there has been at least one post this year and perhaps more to come.

2) Marta’s Memories, Etc
This is my mother’s blog, which she has kept since 2010. She and my dad’s lives are inspiring to me. They have been married for 58 years. They live is a big house in the woods where my five brothers and I grew up. My family of eight were supported financially by one salary, my dad’s as a sheet metal worker. And then there was my mom rearing six kids while staying active as a singer in church, which she has done since age six. My family did not live big. My parents set a good example of living within one’s means, being kind to others, working hard, doing things together as a family, and laughing hard. They now have a very happy and active retirement, spending lots of time in nature, in church, and with family. My mom’s blog has great old photos of her family, who started out as Italian immigrants in the greater Seattle area at the turn of the 20th century. She also posts about her life now, her garden, and their home projects. One of my favorite posts is “The wench with a winch“, which chronicles my parents’ use of a large winch to move a fallen Douglas Fir out of their yard.

3) Anti-Cancer: A New Way of Life
This is the blog for the book of the same title, written by the late David Servan-Schreiber, M.D. Ph.D. and now carried on by his colleagues. Okay, so the purpose of the blog is in large part to promote the book. And that is my intention in listing it here, as well. Dr. Servan-Schreiber became a strong force in integrative medicine for cancer care after learning that he had brain cancer as young professor of psychiatry and neuroscience. Integrative medicine is not to be confused with alternative medicine. The strategies discussed in the book, which include nutrition, exercise, reduction of environmental toxins, and mindfulness meditation were intended to be used in combination with conventional cancer treatments. The program described in the book is currently being investigated at the highly esteemed Anderson Cancer Institute in Texas. This book had a very positive impact on my approach to my own treatment, which focuses on using multiple resources to help me live a healthy life. Although the long-term impact of my daily health routines remain to be discovered, eating healthfully, walking every day, and doing mindfulness meditation has made a very positive difference in my health right now.

I know that’s not 15 blogs but I did annotate them! Oh and I almost forgot the seven random facts about me:

1) When I was 14, I wrote an advice column for kids for the Seattle Times called, “Gotta Gripe.”
2) When I was 15, my mom and I got tear-gassed in the goat barn at the Western Washington State Fair.
3) When I was 15, I fell into a man hole (a square one that had not been put back properly) up to my ankle, falling quickly to the ground. Fortunately, I was carrying a big bag on my shoulder, which swung in front of my body, keeping my face from hitting the asphalt. (This occurred during the same week as the goat barn incident.)
4) At 47 years of age, I can still sit in the lotus position and put my foot to my head, though I am the absolute worst at yoga.
5) Although I always say I don’t have a favorite color, it is really red.
6) I once seriously considered becoming a nun.
7) Today my blog reached 1000 comments. Most of them are mine!

I notice that I often unconsciously place my hand on the spot where my breast used to be. It’s sort of like a breast, at least more so than right after my mastectomy. As I’ve previously mentioned, there’s a calzone-shaped tissue expander in there right under my skin. I do it so often that I’ve begun to worry that I’ll be talking to one of my patients and suddenly find that I have put my hand under my bra without even realizing it.

I have to admit, it’s a pretty good hand warmer. Since I don’t go around topless, it’s well insulated by clothing. Plus, it’s located near the nuclear reactor part of my body, where the hot flashes seem to originate. And since the skin over the expander has no sensation, it is not unpleasant to touch it with an ice cube cold hand.

But mostly, I think my hand is just doing it’s version of, “What the Hell are you? Why are you shaped like a savory turnover? Why do you feel like a Tupperware lid?” Followed repeatedly by, “Oh my goodness, are you still there? What are doing here. Are you still shaped like a turnover? Yes, you are. Do you still feel like a Tupperware lid? Why yes, you do.”

It’s kind of like the relationship between my tongue and a crown that was put on one of my teeth about five years ago. When it was first placed, my tongue was on it constantly, like it was a foreign object that didn’t belong in my mouth. I still find that without realizing, that my tongue has a little habit of checking it out, probably at least once per day. And I think my friend, Lisa was right about my cat doing the same thing when he took a nip at my right breast some weeks back. It was his way of saying, “What the Hell is that?” My cat is about as smart as my tongue so I think this is a good hypothesis.

So now I think I’m going to do an Internet search for portraits of Napolean and see if he’s wearing a little pink ribbon in any of them.

No pink ribbon but based on the hand position, I surmise that Napolean battled sagginess in addition to Waterloo.

No pink ribbon but based on the hand position, I surmise that Napolean battled sagginess in addition to Waterloo.

I just lived an entire month without a surgery. When was the last month that this was true, you ask? The last surgery free month was May. Here’s a list for those of you keeping score at home.

June 27-Lumpectomy 1

July 18-Lumpectomy 2-Undiscovered Country

August 8th-Right-side Mastectomy

September 26th-Delay Procedure and tissue expander placement

October ?-Skin graft.

My next surgery? March 11th, for my TRAM reconstruction. Yay! I will make the best of my months off!

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I went in to see Dr. Welk this morning so he could take a look at my skin graft. I was instructed to keep the dressing over the graft all of this time so this was an “unveiling” for me, as well. He took off the dressing and said, “Looks good.” I was relieved since I thought the color and texture did not look so good. But that’s the way it’s been all along. When I think it looks bad, the experts think it looks good and when I think I know what kind of bad-looking tissue is actually well-healing tissue, I am told, “I’ve never seen this before.”

After Dr. Welk cleaned up the area a little, I could see that it was healing. I also saw that the shape of the graft was more of a pointed ellipse than a 1 cm by 2 cm rectangle, as I had thought previously. What I was seeing before was the color and outline of a sponge that was put directly over the graft. Seeing the shape of the graft I joked to Dr. Welk, “Hey, cool  that looks like a little eye ball. I could get an eye ball tattoo there.” As soon as I saw his face I said, “Kidding, kidding, kidding. Tattoos are not really my style. But I guess that is not a great joke to make in Seattle.” (For those of you in other parts of the world, tattoos and body piercings are quite the rage in these parts.)

Speaking of tattoos, I recently learned that a new business, a tattoo place, is moving into the space above the offices that I share with two other psychologists. We’ve been in our ground floor space for many years and there’s been a good deal of turnover upstairs. The last business was a day spa and before that, it was a chiropractor’s office. So, it has a lot of little rooms in it. Now the rooms will be filled with people getting inked. The teens that see us in the psychology offices will be thrilled. I am hoping they don’t blast loud music or anything. I am also hoping that there aren’t a bunch of people with scary piercings. I see preschoolers, after all. I think it will probably be just fine. My biggest fear is that a coffee shop or restaurant would move in upstairs. We would hear footsteps, the sound of the steam wand, and talking, all day long. Not to mention the impact on the parking situation. Our building is a cute house built in 1917 so it would have appeal for these kinds of businesses. Fortunately, when the chiropractor moved in, she totally remodeled the place, removing the kitchen, not to mention putting little exam/treatment rooms everywhere.

And if I ever do want to get that eye ball shaped tattoo…

Lindbergh High School Reunion '82, '83, '84, '85

Join us this summer for our reunion in Renton, WA!

George Lakoff

George Lakoff has retired as Distinguished Professor of Cognitive Science and Linguistics at the University of California at Berkeley. His newest book "The Neural Mind" is now available.

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